The Marauders returned en masse to the Common Room, Peter clutching his bulky package with a self-satisfied air.

"What is it, Wormtail?" James pressed, beginning to look vaguely uneasy.

"Have a seat," Peter said grandly. "Give it a minute. These things take time."

Slowly, with relish, he pulled the brown paper off. A letter on white parchment fell out before he had finished; Peter read it slowly. James squirmed uncomfortably.

"It's a gift from Roberta," Peter said. "For you, actually, Prongs." He sniggered slightly and pulled the rest of the paper off with a flourish.

"Behold!"

There was a collective silence. A slow smile spread across Sirius' face as he saw the catalogue, and he nodded. "Brilliant, Wormtail," he said softly. "That was just brilliant."

Peter beamed. "I know. It was, wasn't it?"

Remus grabbed the catalogue. "This is hideous," he said. "Have you seen this?"

"What is it?" James cried in frustration. Remus grinned. "You'll get your turn," he said. James attempted to stand; Sirius and Peter jumped on him.

"Manners, Prongs," Peter said airily. "Take turns." To Remus - "Have you seen page two-thirty-three?"

Remus began warily to flip to the specified page. "If it's anything like the rest of these--" he said, and then fell silent. "Woah."

"Lemme see," Sirius demanded. Remus passed him the catalogue and went to take his turn holding down the impatient James.

Sirius randomly opened it, and gave a low whistle. "Wow. You weren't kidding." He sent a malicious look in James' direction. "Poor Prongs."

"Look at this one," Peter said, flipping to a different page. "She looks really - er - attached to her bed, that one."

Sirius put the catalogue down, sending James an infinitely sympathetic look. "You really should go off gambling for good, mate," he said. "Bets don't really agree with you."

"LET ME SEE!" Wrenching himself from his friends' grasp, he lunged for the catalogue and suppressed a shriek. "Wormtail! What IS this? "Geruch Gestank: Wedding Design for Wise Witches?"" He groaned. "What is this...do I really want to know?"

"We had to get inspiration for your dress for the grad ball, mate," Remus said seriously.

"Roberta's getting married next April," Peter added. "I asked her to send me one of her catalogues. She did--she's so obliging. She just said I had to send a picture. I think I have just the dress for you, Prongs old pal. Roberta suggested it."

Slowly, deliberately, Peter took the catalogue from James and turned, page by page, to a point near the beginning of the book. Beads of sweat formed on James' forehead.

"Just get it over with," he moaned. "Please."

Peter grinned and held the catalogue out for all to see. "How d'you like this one?"

"It's all right, I guess," James said, turning white. "After all, Sirius is going to lose."

"You just keep saying that," Sirius said significantly, looking at the purple horror.

"He better," Peter said. "Look at the price on this thing - how'd we ever pay for it?"

"People would pay money for that?" Remus said incredulously. "Poor, preyed on customers."

Peter closed the catalogue with a smile. "It's settled, then. If Sirius loses, he takes Gertrude Turpiculus."

"And she'd probably wear something like that," James interjected. "Seems like her natural taste. I know I certainly won't!"

"I have to say, if you want to get Evans at all you better keep out of dresses like that, mate," Remus said wisely. "I don't think she'd like to go around with someone who wore.. .that."
~*~
All dresses thanks to www.uglyweddingdress.com!

Edited by: YouKnowEmma at: 10/4/04 2:05 pm